MAN ABOUT TOWN

The Melbourne International Arts Festival Local Artist Card 2006 The Melbourne International Arts Festival would like to invite professional, practicing artists of all disciplines to take part in this year's Festival - by seeing shows, attending forums, discussions and master classes, and by joining us and visiting artists at the Festival Artist's Lounge, The Shed. The Local Artist Card enables the Festival to provide artists with discounts and access so they can maximize their Festival experience. The Artist Card is about affordability, and due to the Festival's ability to manage the initiative, limited to the first 800 Australian artists to put their hand up! What does the Local Artist Card offer? Present your Local Artist Card to receive the following: Concession Tickets - two concession tickets to each Melbourne International Arts Festival controlled event (ticket entitlement to the named artist card holder for a maximum of two tickets to any festival cont...

Fitzroy's Screen Sect hosts a chiller/thriller lineup of classic horror films during The Age 2006 Melbourne Fringe Festival, and for the rest of October. Adam Spellicy has curated an Invasion of the Body Snatchers mini-season over three consecutive Mondays, comprised of: The original 1955 version by Don Seigel on 2nd October; Philip Kaufman's 1978 remake on 9th October, starring Donald Sutherland (pictured as a shrieking pod-person, above) and Jeff Goldblum; and, Abel Ferrara's 1993 version on 16th October. "They're here already ! You're next! You're next ! You're next !" Plus rounding out October, catch John Carpenter's 1988 film They Live on Monday October 23 and the Howard Hawks-produced, 1951 Christian Nyby film, The Thing From Another World on Monday October 30. Screen Sect is a night devoted to rarely seen, obsessively loved and criminally neglected cult classics of cinema. Revisit old favourites, uncover hidden celluloid g...

Wednesday night was the opening night Fringe Festival artists' party; last night the somewhat slicker opening of the annual Fringe Furniture Exhibition; and tonight, oh tonight, the opening night for a score of shows at the Festival Hub: the North Melbourne Town Hall, the Lithuanian Club, and other adjacent venues; and one hell of a party! Between now and October 15th the city is alive with artists doing what they do best. I've scheduled 28 shows so far, and there's even more I want to see. Take a risk. Take a punt. Do the Fringe !* * It's something akin to the Frug , but with more tassles, I'm led to believe.

Here's a clip for you from Mum, one of my favourite Icelandic bands, for their track 'Weeping Rock, Rock'... And here's another, for the sublime 'Green Grass of Tunnel'. It was just over a year ago that I saw these guys live, in Amsterdam. I'd love to see them perform in from of a home crowd in Iceland. Maybe one day...

Actually it should be 'The blood is the life!' to quote poor, deranged Renfield, but never mind... Nathaniel over at The Film Experience is having a blog-a-thon focussed on vampires, my favourite of favourite movie and literary monsters. It's going to be a vast multiple blog-post linking frenzy, with the common factor being a post about cinematic repersentation of vampires in one form or another. Sweet! Now all I have to decide is what to blog about: lesbian vampires? Too easy perhaps. Homoeroticism in vampire cinema? The use of blue filters in Hammer Horror movies? Perhaps some of the stranger vampire movies out there, such as Billy the Kid Meets Dracula or Mexico's Santo en el Tesoro de Dracula , one of the seeming endless adventures of the masked wrestler Santo? Oh, so many possibilities and such delightful decisions await... And thanks to Glenn over at Stale Popcorn in Geelong, on whose blog I discovered this delicious opportunity!

Early last Thursday morning in Ballarat, a 60 year old man was attacked by four assailants, who dragged him from his parked car, sexually assaulted him, bashed him, pissed on him, then forced him into his own car before stealing it. He was released after an hour, after further abuse. His burnt-out car was found several hours later. Why have I heard nothing about this in the mainstream media, with the exception of the Ballarat Courier ? Can you imagine the hue and cry if this happened here in Melbourne to a 60 year old woman, or if the victim was an elderly man who was assaulted in a home invasion? There's a simple answer. It's because he was asking for it , because he was cruising for sex at a beat in a Ballarat park shortly after midnight. I can't begin to say how pissed off it makes me that the mainstream media have ignored this assault, which the Ballarat police have described as "savage and disgusting". What's even worse is that only a month or two ago, th...

A writer friend of mine, Tom Cho, has set up an unofficial website for the Monash Gender Dysphoria Clinic , seeing as the Clinic doesn't have one of its own, despite being the major means whereby Victorians (not to mention referrals from across Australia and beyond) can transit gender. The site's in its early days yet, but already has an FAQ, resource section, and summarises some of the information provided by the Centre to its clients. Please feel free to disemminate the URL widely!

My mum, Maggie. Fuck. This means I have to spend the whole day doing all the housework I'm usually either too busy, too lazy or too unconcerned about to do. It's probably a good thing, actually, because the place is a fucking pigsty... Edit: And just in case people get the wrong idea, I actually get on really well with my mum; it's just that I always feel compelled to clean the place up before she gets here, despite the fact that she knows it's only an illusion of domesticity. I've just dusted the study. Dusted , for fucks sake. Oh well, at least I now have a clean desk for the first time in months. Time to tackle the bathroom next. *shudders*

The lovely DavetheScot tagged me a couple of weeks ago, and for a variety of factors I've only just got around to responding to this particular meme. Given that I spent most of Saturday recovering from a debaucherous Friday evening that included stripped-bare (literally) circus from acrobat , catching The Meanies and the splendidly entertaining Digger and the Pussycats at The Tote , the accidental but very welcome company of Ms Fits and her handsome fella (does he have a brother please Fits?), lines of speed in the toilets at the Cobra Bar, and finally Kamikaze Trio at Pony at 2am, I think a post discussing sober literary pursuits is entirely in order... 1. One book I've read more than once. The Lord of the Rings by J. R.R. Tolkien. Between the ages of 14 and 21 I read this book a total of 18 times, if my memory serves me correctly. I was enthralled by the grandeur of the novel's scope; the attention to detail Tolkien poured into Middle Earth's history, culture...

The so-called ‘ex-gay’ movement, which claims to be able to ‘cure’ people of their homosexuality, is deeply entrenched in American culture. Organisations such as Focus on the Family (the influential voice of the Christian Right in US politics) Love in Action , and the National Association for Research and Therapy of Homosexuality (NARTH) run prayer meetings, hold exorcisms and employ a variety of therapies (including the dubious practise of beating pillows with a tennis racket to assist gay men rediscover their ‘guy-ness’) in order to help gays and lesbians heal their ‘broken’ sexuality. With the increasing influence of the Pentecostal movement and the Religious Right in Australia , as typified by the Hillsong Church (whose founder, Frank Houston, resigned his ministry in 2000 after admitting to committing paedophilic offences) and the Family First Party , the ex-gay movement is now targeting Australia . Liberty Christian Ministries in NSW, which aims to provide “supp...

This week's SmartArts featured interviews with: Oriel Guthrie , the director/producer of the Australian hip-hop documentary Skip Hop Volume One , released last month on DVD through EMI. Young artists John Bartley and Royce Ng came in to talk about Death and Preservation , their debut exhibition examining the re-emergence of rituals and symbols of death, produced in collaboration with Holly and Rowam McNaught. It opens next Wednesday 27th October, 6-8pm at Viewing Space Gallery (Level 6, Room 16, the Nicholas Building, corner of Swanston Street & Flinders Lane) and runs til October 7th. Dianne Reid , the artistic director of Dancehouse , joined us to talk about their latest two-week season of new works, SpringDance : "Two programs of Australian and International work, dealing with the body in conflict. Featuring an all female cast, investigating darkly poetic images of physical and emotional states, of human behaviour in times of war or inner turmoil." The season r...

"A dream to some. A nightmare to others!" I've just finished rewatching John Boorman's hopelessly dated yet somehow still marvellously evocative take on the Arthurian legend and ' the matter of Britain ', Excalibur . This epic, operatic film was released in 1981, which given that I saw it in its original cinematic release, means I was probably only 14 at the time. In retrospect, that was the perfect age at which to witness this story of knights, villainy, love and tragedy. The grandeur and passion of Excalibur have stayed with me to this day, and tonight I found myself mouthing certain lines even as I quietly laughed at the production design or the flawed over-dubbing of certain actors; and moved to tears even as I was marvelling at the early screen appearances of the likes of Gabriel Byrne (Uther), Patrick Stewart (Leondegrance), Liam Neeson (Gawain) and Helen Mirren (Morgana). Without a doubt, though, my favourite actor - and character - in the film i...

No really, I am. Mark, whose blog is called Sexy Gay Blogger of the Day certainly thinks so. If I ever run into him at a conference/gig/gallery opening I shall probably gently lick one of his ears while asking if he wants to come back to my place and look at my etchings... I think I shall go and purr quietly to myself now, while I sip this glass of absinthe and watch the news.

Richard Watts, your pirate name is: Second Mate Domingo the Black

It's amazing what you find when you're scouring the net for stories with gay content for work. These choice tidbits from UK tabloid The Sun should keep you entertained... Brickie sacked for being hunky HUNKY teenage labourer Joe Norman was sacked from a building site at a girls school — for driving pupils into a frenzy. The 18-year-old, who had spent the summer helping to build an extension, started getting wolf-whistles when classes resumed after the holidays. Girls at the Catholic school would yell: “Oi, fit builder!” Then gangs of them started to CHASE him down corridors... ( click here to read the whole story ). 'I fell for identical brothers' RANDY Amanda Bennett bagged herself a real twinset – by bedding a pair of identical brothers. And it was only when she got them between the sheets that she could tell the difference between the boys.. ( Full story here ) Gay sailor axed for rookie romp. A SAILOR has been booted out of his Navy base for allegedly romping...

Just a little advance warning for those of you who might have forgotten, that tomorrow, September 19th, is International Talk Like A Pirate Day . Huzzah!

Ok, so we have: A herd of antelope A shrewedness of apes A troop of baboons A clutter of cats A bevy of otter A parliament of owls An ostentation of peacocks An obstinacy of buffalo An implausibility of gnu A float of crocodiles A gloom of goths A charm of finches A murder of crows What do we call a collective of bloggers, please?

This is my 301st post on this here little blog of mine - which, given its rather lucklustre beginnings, is quite an achievement! Rather than recapping on how and why I started blogging, let me quickly recap on the last few days instead. Friday I was supposed to go and see the opening of a new show at The Malthouse, but I was pretty knackered, so stayed home and watched a couple of DVD's instead: the gay film Defying Gravity , which I'd been wanting to see for ages (about a closeted gay frat boy - not great to be honest, and rather dated now, but still capable of moving me to tears) and Dreams in the Witch House , based on the short story by H. P. Lovecraft , and part of the US Masters of Horror series. I bought it on Amazon a few weeks ago, and then of course got a media release this week announcing that the whole series is about to be released locally... Saturday I started reading a pile of grant applications for Arts Victoria (I'm a peer assessor on the New Work: Presen...

I'm taking a break from labouring over a thick folder full of Arts Victoria grant applications. I've just read a truly beautiful blog post and the tears it inspired are still trickling down my cheeks. I thought you might like to read it as well.

Tired, hungover and happy today after a debaucherous afternoon and evening yesterday - more of which in my next post. I have shitloads of work to do this afternoon, but I had to show you this video - undeniable proof of the existence of the Flying Spaghetti Monster - I have been touched by His Noodly Appendage! Aarrr!

The shock and outrage this tele-movie is causing is hilarious. I wonder if the ABC will pick it up over here? Probably not the way their Board is stacked these days, I suspect, more's the pity...

I took Thursday night off work to go see Hedwig and the Angry Inch at the Athenaeum again, in the company of Mike and his Perth mate Donald , who's in town for a few days (and who it was a pleasure to finally meet). Assorted other Melbourne queers and friends such as the G-Man were in the audience (Cameron tells me I did an excellent job of selling the show at the patry I was at last Saturday night) and I daresay a good time was had by all. Certainly the audience gave another standing ovation. Hedwig was just as good the second time around. The season's been extended until Sunday 24th, so go see it!

On the show this week, I talked with: ACMI's Kristy Matheson , about their Focus On Early Hitchcock , which is now showing until Sunday 24 September Luke Mullins , actor and creator of the one-man show Autobiography of Red , a homoerotic retelling of one of the labours of Herakles, together with the show's sound designer and composer, Jethro Woodward . Autobiography of Red is running at The Malthouse until Sunday 24 September. Mario De Pasquale , from Mario's Cafe, about the new art lending library they've established in conjunction with the Footscray Community Art Centre . Lachlan Plain , the director of Lament: Candles and Compost , a show about resurrection and decay that utilises shadows, puppetry and sound, and which is running from September 16 - October 1 at the Abbotsford Convent . For details on this and other independent theatre please visit www.theatrealive.com.au Olivia Allen from new theatre company Ignite came in to chat about their production of the ...

I am posting this delightfully shameless plug for one of my favourite arts/media festivals in Australia, to which I've been almost every year since it began, because I think it represents a great opportunity for people to get involved with a very special event and cool crowd of creative peoples... * * * * * CALLING ALL BLOGGERS, indy publishers, radio makers and anyone else that is making their own media... Are you out there creating and publishing your own thoughts and interested in getting together with like minded folks, then plan to be in Newcastle from 28th September - 2 October . This Is Not Art Festival (TINA) and the National Young Writers Festival (NYWF) wants Australian independent media makers to come along toAustralia's largest annual gathering of independent media makers andstay and play for free! TINA is the place where Australia's most interesting young writers, media makers, publishers, digital artists, musicians and troublemakers get together and we want...

RICHARD WATTS speaks with dancer Paul White about a dramatic new production at the Malthouse Theatre, exploring life in the US military prison at Guantanamo Bay . Most Australians would now be familiar with the name of David Hicks, the young man who allegedly served with the Taliban and al-Qaeda in Afghanistan , and who has since been held at the US military base at Guantanamo Bay for almost five years without being charged. Although Hicks still languishes in solitary confinement, his story has been told through a powerful documentary, The President vs David Hicks . Now Honour Bound , a new production at the Malthouse Theatre, further explores David Hicks’ situation. “One of great things with this show is that it isn’t preaching to the converted,” explains dancer Paul White, a cast member in the production. “It’s been touching the Australian public and turning the spotlight onto them. A lot of people have seen that their ignorance about what’s going on in Guantano...

A reference by tobytoby to bad poetry set me off on a quick quest to find some Vogon poetry . Not only did I find the text I was looking for, I also found a Vogon poetry generator . God I love the internet. Here's the poem that was generated for me: See, see the committed sky Marvel at its big vomit-green depths. Tell me, Martin do you Wonder why the basselope ignores you? Why its foobly stare makes you feel seedy? I can tell you, it is Worried by your fromendrone facial growth That looks like A mould. What's more, it knows Your gurgling potting shed Smells of pus-ball. Everything under the big committed sky Asks why, why do you even bother? You only charm smegma.

To quote Bill the Cat : "Ack! "Thbbbt!" Here, ladies and gentlemen and gender-fluid/non-gender-specific people*, is a brief outline of my day so far. 7am : Got up Pissed. Showered. Walked to milk bar. Came home. Breakfasted and glanced at The Age - didn't take in that it was September 11 until much later in the day. Partook of panadol and Berocca. 7.25am: Started drinking 600ml bottle of Coke. 7.30pm: Wrote 'Art of the City' column for Beat , trying to balance wit, bitchiness, and wry observational humour with a sense of curiousity about the arts and the public's need to know. Left out reference to XXXXX in the toilets at YYYYYY doing A) fat lines of coke and B) ZZZZ's even fatter cock.** 9.34: Leave for the MCV office. 9.45am: Wondered why people were staring at me on the tram: worried I had cum stains on my jeans or had fly undone; realised it was because I was wearing my 'Nazi punks fuck off t-shirt." Must remember not to catch tram f...

God, what a wild few days its been. Tuesday night was the opening of Macbeth , as previously mentioned (and I've since heard from a few other people who also hated it with a passion - god it's a stinker!). Wednesday night saw me dappered up in a pinstriped zoot suit, attending the media launch of The Age 2006 Melbourne Fringe Festival at Billboard nightclub. A throng of artists were present, including the delicious Town Bikes and some spunky circus boys; and Arts Minister Mary Delahunty went all hip-hop on us and delivered her speech as a rap: "I'm the minister for Fringe; call me Mary D." Best. Speech. Ever. Fringe runs from September 27 - October 15. Check out the website for details. Thursday I DJ'd at Q + A as is my wont, and crawled into bed at about 4am, only to be woken by neighbours' renovations at 7.30am. There's nothing quite like the gentle sound of a buzzsaw in the early hours to help your hangover... *groan* Friday night I popped over to...

Oh. Dear. Me. How do you spell 'inept film-making'? M.A.C.B.E.T.H. Geoffrey Romper Stomper Wright's new feature is a badly-directed, badly acted film that simultaneously manages to blacken the names of several good actors (take a bow, Sam Worthington, pictured left) and that of the Australian film industry. No mean feat, although while watching it, and afterwards, at the Docklands after-party to which we were bussed from South Yarra's Jam Factory red carpet premiere, Mike and I had to keep reminding ourselves that at least it wasn't as bad as The Book of Revelation . Contemporisation of Shakespeare, when it works, works well, as evidenced by the likes of Richard Loncraine's Richard III (starring Sir Ian McKellen as the villainous king) and obviously, Baz Luhrmann's Romeo + Juliet , which stripped the play back to its bare bones, and was successful as a result. This update, which sees the film set in the milleu of Melbourne's modern underworld, fails o...

Browsing blogs this morning - a regular exercise designed to bring my brain up to speed - I found the following delight-maker over at La Nadine's blog . The Advertising Slogan Generator Click on the above link. Enter your name. Hit the 'sloganizer' button and see what you come up with. GIVE THAT MAN A RICHARD RICHARD COMES TO THOSE WHO WAIT Ain't that the truth? This is the coolest thing I have seen... well, today!

Steve Irwin, 'the crocodile hunter', has been killed while filming a new wildlife documentary of the Queensland coast. No, he was't eaten by a crocodile. Poetic justice is rarely that sweet. He died when a stingray's barb went through his chest. Ouch!

For the first time in a ridiculous number of weeks, I had a relatively quiet weekend. Friday night I relaxed at home after scoring for a mate; Saturday's highlights were the live OB (outside broadcast) for Triple R's Film Buffs Forecast from the Westgarth Cinema, dinner in St Kilda with Mike, followed by a new play, The Habib Show (dinner was good, the play wasn't, as Mike has already discussed ); and Sunday I did some writing, worked on my Beat column, visited a mate Jeff, who's come down with chickpox, and watched a DVD. That's it. No late-night drug fuelled romps. No drunken binges. Either I'm getting sensible, or I'm getting old. Alternatively, maybe I just needed a few early nights? Given that this week is already starting to fill up with social events - the premiere of the new Australian film Macbeth tomorrow night; the launch of The Age 2006 Melbourne Fringe Festival on Wednesday - somehow I suspect that things are about to get crazy again...

1. A Sunday afternoon spent in the company of the lovely Lisa G - friend and sometimes collaborator/performance partner, whose work I respect and whose company I always enjoy. We lingered over excellent nosh and generous glasses of wine before going our seperate ways, but I carried part of the calm of our conversation with me into a turbulent week. 2. Copies of my latest publication - a sourcebook for the roleplaying game Stormbringer - arrived in the post. Holding the physical manifestation of one's passions and imagination in your hands (not to mention the end result of many months' laborious rewriting in order to par your thoughts down to a concise 73,624 words) induces a sense of pride, accomplishment and gratification that cannot be matched by even sublime experiences such as falling in love. 3. On Wednesday night I attended the official farewell dinner for outgoing Voiceworks editor Tom Doig , and was introduced to the delights of North Fitzroy's Moroccan Soup Bar - ...